


A Deadpool cupcake to your Unicorn Frappe?

by HaveMyWeedCookies



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Bakery and Coffee Shop, Cupcakes, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Peter baked a cupcake, Precious Peter Parker, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-31 00:17:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10887930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaveMyWeedCookies/pseuds/HaveMyWeedCookies
Summary: The cafe which Peter had been working for months, the sole source of his stable income, was going to close down due to the drop in sales. All thanks to Starbucks which opened its new branch across the street and kept stealing Peter's customers with their new promotion of Unicorn Frappuccino.Not giving up, Peter came up with a plan to save his job by riding the fad to his best benefit. Or Peter baked a Deadpool cupcake. And then a man in a red hoodie with a cap visited his shop one day.





	A Deadpool cupcake to your Unicorn Frappe?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still working on my "Nurse Parker" This is a one-shot that popped up so suddenly. I hope you guys would enjoy it. Please let me know what you think :)

Peter Parker was having a problem. Big, serious, death-or-life kind of problem.

A few months earlier, Peter got a part-time job at a local café near Queens in a position of cashier and life had never been better and blissfully sweet for Peter. And he wasn’t exaggerating it. However, to understand how a job that required for a simple man to stand at a counter announcing the prices of coffee for a disinterested customer could be a life-change event of Peter, you needed to see it from his perspective, a poverty-ridden college student’s perspective. Peter was a 22 years old who had struggled with finding a sufficient income for his life since his teenage years. Not to say, that Peter was also the infamous masked vigilant at night, a responsibility that did nothing to prevent Peter from entering a financial crisis. Or worsen his situation because he couldn’t find any day job that could coordinate with both of school schedule and his nightly patrol. Peter was forced to work under the oppression of J.J Jameson for years as their freelance photographer because it was the only available job that didn’t compromise his chaotic lives. But Peter’s pocket suffered badly from that meager payment. His mentality too. So he resigned. 

As Peter was trying to find a new job. It was Gwen who showed him the way out when they currently having a coffee at the campus’s coffee shop, Gwen having a coffee and Peter drinking tap water, by offhand mentioning about the coffee shop near Peter’s apartment that was looking for a cashier.

Peter immediately submitted his resume and got hired the same day. He was practically in a paradise. Although it was a plain and spiritless café, it was Peter’s stable source of income. Standardized payment. Moreover, the time slot was flexible which allowed him a better management with his other responsibilities. And more importantly, as a staff, Peter had a right over a cup of free coffee per day and he also could take the leftover pastries back to his hide when they were due to expire.

Now, you could see why Peter was so protective of his coffee shop. But then fate had to fuck this up by inspiring Starbucks to think it was a great idea to open its new branch across the street of Peter’s shop and stealing people who supposed to visit his shop away with their new promotion of Unicorn Frappuccino. The situation got worse day by day as their sales plummeted dramatically. His coward of a manager submitted his resignation paper after predicting that it wouldn’t be looking good on his profile if he was the one in charge when the café closed down. So, those who had left was just Peter, the nonchalant gum-chewing barista and a baker. The owner of the shop visited them one day and said with a dismissive tone that if the trend continued downward for another month, he would shut the shop permanently.

Needless to say that Peter was furious at the pompous bourgeois’s uncaring word and his irresponsibility. Of course, someone like this man had much money to spend and the café might be just his pet project or another tool for laundering his dirty money. And yes, why would he supposed to care as the one who their labor into making the shop lived was not him but the employees. Seethed as he much, in reality, what Peter did was practically begging the owner to not hold onto his thought because Peter’d come up with something that would skyrocket their sales. That bald man raised his eyebrows, highly unconvinced what a non-special college kid could do, but figuring out nothing he could lose from indulging a boy’s fantasy, so he agreed. He gave Peter a deadline of one month to fulfill his promise. 

Peter also got promoted to a temporary manager, although he still had to perform cashier job because the owner refused to hire more people to be his financial burden. Typical capitalists.

Therefore, Peter had no time for a celebration as he had a job to do to protect his job.

Peter immediately call for an urgent meeting after they closed the shop the next day. The members who presented at the meeting was himself and a barista girl, who said and participated nothing throughout the meeting. She was there just to use free wifi while waiting for her boyfriend to pick her up for a movie night date. The baker quitted the day after this, explaining to him with a casual shrug that Starbucks paid him better. And now Peter wouldn’t question again why socialism never rose in the US of A. Peter was many things but giving up wasn’t among these. If he had to go for a one-man crusade like Don Quixote but without Sancho or a donkey so be it.

Peter started his quest with an online research. He figured out that Starbucks’s new product with a unicorn-featured could be a key to his success. Therefore, Peter tried to find whatever mythical creatures that he could use to counter the popularity of the Unicorn. Unfortunately, Peter came up with an empty hand. What’d people feeling about the harpy, aka a vulture-like beast with three breasts anyway? However, as he scrolled down on Google’s images of unicorns in frustration, he came across a picture that lighted up his eyes.

It was a picture of Deadpool hugging his unicorn plushie.

Peter had been hanging with the mercenary for years and it wasn’t a top-filed secret that the Merc with a Month favored fluffy adorable things. And since Wade’s redemption which got him classified as an antihero, he had gained his fame and fans. These fans were from a wide array of age and gender. Deadpool’s openness about his pansexuality got him also a big support from many LGBT groups. Wade was also good with kids and youths and because of the release of his own movie, the public now aware of his association with cute things and unicorns. They adored him for that too.  
Peter smiled with all his teeth. “Eureka.”

 

“We are going to make a Deadpool-themed cupcake.” Peter announced to the sole listener in the shop or the barista girl. She looked at him with disinterest and popped her bubble balloon. Peter paid her no mind and he continued revealing his clever plan. 

“See, people know that Deadpool like unicorns and we could take the craze that is Unicorn Frappuccino to our best advantage. We’re going to put on a sign that read ‘Why not take a Deadpool cupcake with your Unicorn Frappe?’ There are at least hundreds of people drinking that sweetened concoction per day, why not we ride the train?” Peter’s eyes shone with maniac gleam like one of his villains when they started ranting about their evil plan.

The barista raised her hand, still looking bored, perhaps it was the only expression she was taught by her moody teen cult. Especially when in the same room with other responsible adults.

“How we’re going to make a cupcake, no baker, remember?”

“We have one. Me.”

 

Peter paid a visit to Aunt Mayas well as her nosy lady friends as soon as he closed the shop. To be frank, he was rather being anywhere than in the same room with those brutal and grabby ladies who loved to cooe and pinch his cheeks, both facial and butt cheeks. And Peter’s face reddened at just this thought. However, one thing that he himself couldn’t deny was that these old ladies were pastry goddesses.

Three hours of enduring their prod and pry at his life and body, Peter was rewarded with a pedagogic knowledge of patisserie. He wrote all the techniques and their secret recipes of cupcake magic on his note with glee. Peter was a scientist and he knew his way with chemistry. Precise measurement and strict setting of temperature, plus his imagination. He could pull this out. He had to because his job was on the thin line.

He spent an entire week with many sets of trial and error in his own kitchen. With a great price that almost paid with his own sanity, He perfected it. His Deadpool cupcake was completed.

 

Peter was meticulous with his creation. He chose Red Velvet to be in cupcake base to resemble Deadpool’s theme color and filled it up with a mixture of two fillings: dark chocolate ganache and raspberry sauce, to create a contrasting touch between richly soft and tart flavor. The topping was buttercream and a crunchy biscuit that icing painted with Deadpool’s signature mask. Peter secretly named his recipe “the sense of Deadpool.” 

People might think he overworked himself over a mere cupcake for a pedestrian’s café. But they were wrong. Peter liked Wade. So, he wanted to do him right even Peter kinda abused the use of his logo for his own survival. Peter tried his best to make the cupcake resembled Wade’s personalities that he and everyone liked. The kind of cupcake that you bit and could immediately think of Deadpool. Of fun. Of his deep complexity.

Peter gave his sample of the Deadpool cupcakes to people he knew. His aunt and her friends. His few friends and even the indifferent barista. They all moaned in ecstasy.

Now it was time for him to win back his customers.

 

When they opened in the next week. Peter did several changes in the shop, he discarded several menus of coffee that sold less and unpopular, but maintaining the mandatory one that people would always be looking for order, such as espresso or latte. This was to give the platform for his cupcakes to shine. Besides, he only had one barista and himself and due to this shortage of human resource, they needed to redistribute their limited labor to a more efficient line of production like baking the pastries.

Peter also set a sign outside that read ‘A Deadpool cupcake to your Unicorn Frappe?’ which he also drew a picture of Deadpool and a unicorn plushie.

 

Their sales skyrocketed by the end of the week. Both of him and the barista despite their mutual avoidance of human contact, hugged each other for the first time when they learned about the weekly result of cupcake sales. The lazy ass of his owner suddenly appeared, giving nonsense thanks to his god. Peter tempted to web him up on the Wall Street’ s Charging Bull with the man’s face under said Bull’s ball so he could suck it but thought of a better idea first. He asked the man for more employees to help Peter with the baking and gave everyone a salary raise.

He agreed, even reluctantly, with the first bargain. He’d be blinded not to as Peter’s pastries was now a trend on the social network and Peter personally monitored the trend on Twitter and Tumblr, a cluster of Deadpool’s fans. They needed no more Starbucks’s fad to promote their shop.

But sadly, the owner refused the second part of the bargain.

Peter baked more cupcakes. Somehow along the way, the shop happened to transform into a full pastry shop. But they still did coffee because Peter needed his daily free caffeine. With his new team of patissiers, they introduced more Deadpool-themed pastries to their growing number of loyal customers. Cookies, doughnuts, and muffins. Peter left most of the creative design for their new products to his colleagues to work full-time on management stuff he supposed to. However, Peter couldn’t help but took the pride in the fact that his original cupcake had now become the shop’s signature. And most popular one.

 

When the wave of customers of rush hour subsided and he had time to breathe, he even wondered what would Wade thought about his cupcake. Would he like it? Would he understand the interpretation of him that Peter tried to bring out? Now Peter felt like a teenager with a crush. So, Peter tried to chase out that ridiculous thought by busy cleaning the counter where he was currently working as a cashier.

That’s right. 

Peter still needed to do the cashier job. That owner refused to hire more people and he pointed out trickily that Peter asked for more bakers and no cashiers and he fulfilled his deal. Greedy, soulless entrepreneur. Why Peter worked blood and tear for the money that was to be handed to this man? He needed a protest or a labor union of hardworking coffee-shop staffs.

Peter was so caught up in his maleficent plot of webbing the owner somewhere to symbolically shout out his resentment of capitalism that he didn’t hear a bell rang, announcing the arrival of another customer. There was no staff here but Peter. But that was okay because they changed to customer self-service system now. The customers could freely choose their sweet goods before paying at the cashier instead of letting the staff picked it up for them. Because of this plus Peter’s sour mood, he paid the customer none of his attention even the man put his tray on Peter’s counter. He bought just one cupcake, his signature one. Peter announced the payment, with a bored voice.

“That would be $3, sir.”

“Pretty sure, that’ supposed to be mine for free.” The man said mildly. 

“You cannot take the good out without paying, sir. That’s not how the exchange of goods in this capitalist state works.” Peter stated robotically. 

The man chuckled, his laugh rumbling in his throat that sent a shiver through Peter’s body. The man sounded familiar. He looked up and gasped.

He was Deadpool in his civilian uniform. Wade was wearing a cap that cast a shadow on his unmasked face. He wore his signature red hoodie and a black jean with a military pair of boot. He looked great. Meanwhile, Peter was in a cheap uniform of a boring café employee of no significance. 

At Peter’s stunned face, Wade gave him a mischievous smile.

“Also you might own me for a copyright cost that I’m so certain that you’ve not contacted my lawyer regarding the fair use before using it.”

Peter deflated instantly.

He looked at Wade with his best pleading eyes. “Sir, we admire you. You’re an anti-hero who stands for the people right? Please don’t take side with those in the business empire who are grinding us working-classed people for trying to make the end meets.”

“Hmm, let’s see. I think we can settle this outside the lawsuit too. How about this, cutie, you buy me a coffee along with this ravishing cupcake goodness. And we can discuss further more.” He winked, emphasized the last past with his wiggling hairless eyebrows.

Peter stared at him speechlessly. Wade just asked him on a date which Peter had to pay. He even considered giving up his free coffee quota to Wade before he remembered that Wade was fucking rich from all his Deadpool merchandises. Peter couldn’t even claim his rights on the cheapest good of Spider-Man products because of his secret identity. And he had to work his ass off to make one bastard richer in order to keep his pathetic income.

So, no.

Peter crossed his hand petulantly and scoffed. “You can set the lawsuit on my boss. This shop isn’t mine anyway. Enjoy having the riches’ fight with another rich.”

“Wow, wow, Baby Boy, no need to have your panty in a twist. Let’s me try again-- How about this?”

 

Wade bought him that Unicorn Frappuccino which he claimed taste so magical. But he also said that the Deadpool cupcake was much better and according to Wade’s word and Peter quoted “Perfection.” Peter blushed so hard that his face vibrant red.

 

When they were in Peter’s coffee shop on the third date, Wade smirked at him and simply revealed Peter’s alter ego. When Peter stuttered out how he knew. Wade picked up the cupcake and bit.

“No one can even come with this perfect knowledge of me, even myself, than Spidey and this cupcake, Baby Boy.” He grinned. Peter couldn’t help but kiss him because Wade made him so happy.

 

Not so long after their getting together, Wade bought the shop from the owner. How could he do that was a mystery that no one cared because Wade immediately gave them all a raise. Peter came up with another cupcake with a description read “The kiss of Deadpool.” It was a fucking trend now, so try it.


End file.
